Articles, Literacy

Why it’s important to have regular family dinners.

A young boy is ignored at the family dinner table by his parents as everyone is engrossed in multiple electronic device.

Experienced teachers share things parents should do to set their kids up for success – Part 1 of 10

What I’ve noticed over the years is that the children who do well academically tend to have a strong family culture of regular family dinners. These children report having robust discussions about the days events, current affairs and other relevant topics. As a result these children often have strong verbal skills and a good dose of confidence, mainly because they get a lot of practice. Their strong verbal skills generally translate into stronger writing skills. This ultimately means that they cope fairly well at school.

As teachers we get to hear about your family’s daily life during classroom discussions. It may surprise you to know that we hear about the arguments, the money woes, which parent farts in the bath like Shrek, that crockery was thrown last night and who received a speeding fine and cursed at the cop.

Are you really listening to you kids?

Your children also tell us that you are completely inseparable from your phones and tablets and that you often don’t make eye contact when they try to communicate with you. They mutter that they are tired of you murmuring “Uh huh” “Mmm” and “I’m listening – carry on” when you are busy on your phone and really aren’t listening at all.

I hear the resentment in their voices. We, as teachers, hear them complain to their friends about the fact that both their parents work at the dinner table, taking business calls, because they are so busy setting up a new company. We know which families eat separately because of busy schedules or which families religiously eat dinner in front of the TV. As teachers we are privy to way too much information.

Dinner time and self-worth

I want to remind you that despite how busy your lives are and how commendably hard you are working to provide for your family, you must remember that children crave talking about their day with their parents. YOU are the significant adults in their lives and YOU matter most.

Dinner time is the perfect platform to feed their minds and nurture their souls through conversation. Conversation helps them to blow off steam and feel important. It helps to build their vocabulary and practice their newly acquired communication skills. It encourages them to think for themselves, find the words to express their thoughts and to practice social etiquette. All of this is invaluable.

Don’t underestimate the benefits of family dinners for us as adults either. We need them and benefit from them as much as our children do.

Powerful messages

By regularly setting aside time for family dinners, you are sending a very powerful message – “I value you. I value the time I spend with you. I genuinely want to know how your day went. What you experienced and learnt today is something that this family values. I value what you think and what you want to say. You do not have to ASK for time to speak to us, your family. We want to listen.”.

Advice for Parents:

  • At dinner time put away all electronic devices, and turn off the TV. Remove all distractions.
  • Your children have a life away from home that they are dying to share with you – new experiences, successes, failures, worries and concerns, new knowledge & skills, new friendships, friendship problems or just the everyday things that they have discovered and experienced out in the world.
  • They share the attention of their teachers with a large group of children for several hours a day. Therefore, at home they need your undivided attention for at least a portion of the evening. Give it to them before they go looking for someone else who can give them the attention they need.

Further reading:

To explore working with Lianne in Randburg / Sandton and other areas in Johannesburg, contact her for a consultation to discuss how she can assist you.